Fantasizing is the flip side of awful-izing which is the tendency we have to imagine disastrous outcomes when we’re stressed and then worry about them excessively. Its opposite is fantasizing, the tendency to imagine outcomes that are highly desirable but as likely to be unrealistic as our awfulizing scenarios.
Good examples of fantasizing include health related practices like smoking, driving without using a seat belt, bicycling without a helmet and simultaneously telling yourself “it will never happen to me.”
Other examples include thoughts like “My wife/ husband will never find out,” “I’ll be able to afford the payments” and “My luck is about to change.”
We all have to make choices and decisions. They are most likely to be constructive when they are based firmly upon our clearest possible assessment of reality. That is, based upon facts, data, observations and other forms of evidence.
Reality lies somewhere between awfulizing and fantasizing. We need to figure out as best we can what reality actually is. This practice is referred to as performing a “reality check” and it is our best basis for making successful decisions.
Begin your reality check by sorting what’s real from what is a product of your imagination and then collect as much data as possible. Your options will become clearer and the best paths of action will start to present themselves.#emotionaleducation #drmary